Mental Notes From June

Well, if the truth be known, I used to post every day.  I enjoyed it.  It helped me express myself and my journey.  But that was when time wasn’t as hard to come by and collecting my thoughts wasn’t like herding kittens. Please accept this apology from a Lazy Poster.

June was a non-stop movement to final closure.  It was a bit much.  Celebration after celebration, event after event, I think at one point my head was literally spinning. I had one child moving up from elementary school, which completed our time as a family in the school.  (This may not sound like much but this is also the school where I substitute in the office, etc.  and we are attached to many of the people).  That it coincided with my eldest daughter’s graduation from High School made it that much more final.

In the midst of the constant movement, I did take some mental notes that I want to share with you:

1.)  Time,as structured but society, is a crazy thing.  It makes one think in beginnings and endings and those overshadow the middles.  The middles are the parts that matter, the moments that we grow in…the others are just markers. Try not to get so wrapped up in the beginnings and endings of things that you overlook the value of what was experienced in the middle.

2.) Some people do not adjust to change well.  Yes, contact the nightly news, post on Facebook and twitter, somehow get this observation out!  I know it sounds ridiculously obvious but there is a point here.  There are people who in preparation for the next part of their life hyper-focus on the last of everything.  They overcompensate for the change in their child’s world by trying to keep them there as long as they can.  It is difficult for them to “get on with it” if you will.  This creates a lot of stress as they convince themselves that nothing could ever be as good and that suddenly and without warning their child will separate from them and not return.  Now, for clarity, this may happen but I believe there will be a warning.  It also may not happen and your child may come to rely on you in a deeper way than bringing his/her sneakers to school when he/she forgets them.  It is all possible and all part of parenting.

3,) Frontloading works.  Spend as much time as you can with your child while you can.  Let them know who you are and get to know who they are, not who you think they should be.  My kids know me.  Few people know me better. Give them that in the best way possible. Get to know them, you will be glad you did. (This is important because when you are close to losing your mind, like I was, they will shore you up.)

4.) Laugh, no matter what.  We are guilty of finding humor in everything.  There is a very vibrant sense of not only the ridiculous but of the possibilities, in our little world.  It’s good for your physical, mental and spiritual health and will help you re-calibrate when needed. Do it. Go laugh right now.

5.) Give thanks in all things.  I am putting this last because there is no more important point. When it is monsooning and you are having a big ass party, give thanks for the tent that you secured three days before when there were no tents to be found but your brother has a “buddy”.  Or give thanks for the 10% change in precipitation in the forecast. Or when it looks like you are down to your last penny intended for the party, give thanks for the six dollars you found in your wallet that goes farther at the dollar store. Give thanks for the creative and generous people in your life who willingly give to you in a myriad of ways.  Give thanks for your ability to someday give them back.

Finally, give thanks for homemade Italian cookies that your Sicilian Mother in Law made, (OH! You don’t have one?  Well, I do and they were fantastic!  😉  and for being able to share your child’s day.