Deposit of Faith
It has been coming on for some time now, a need to break away from my norm and hunker down into a more cloistered world. More of a dream than a probability as I am still raising children and still working in a social environment. But more and more I feel that I have not been depositing into as much as I have been withdrawing out of my personal account. The account where I store my truisms, beliefs, and experiences. I have been running a little in the red and it is coming to a head.
This past year, (and it could be said the year leading up to it) has been very draining on all fronts. Mostly when I look for my bootstraps to pull up, they are there and ready but more recently the bootstrap feels like it is slipping out of my hand. My concern for everyone in my circle, both home and work, has been a little extreme and I know by my own doing. No one wants me to worry or to overextend myself, but that is how I am made. But I am finding that by trying to make sure everyone is “okay” I am making myself “not okay.”
This past week I put in my John Michael Talbot “Come to the Quiet” and I have not been able to stop playing it. As if God were calling me over and over to sit and rest.
My prayers have also been all over the place but as I have been listening to this, remembering where I started, I have become more centered. I can see more clearly that God is calling me to make some deposits. Sit in the Word, do what I love most and live as closely in the moment that Christ speaks as I can. In order to do this, I need to find the right people to listen to, the right spiritual hands to hold, and the right time of day to be open to it.
Depositing is vital.
Depositing brings growth.
If I am going to ready to be where I am asked to go, I need to make time to deposit. WE all do.
So, this blog may turn into a bit of a “mulling over” of things I encounter. Or I may go on a rant as I am want to do, who knows and I am not sure it really matters. But since there was no resolution from me for 2020, I am kind of open to seeing what sticks after all is said and done.
