Here is an interview I had last night with Pope Francis….in my imagination of course. But I feel like we won the Papal lottery and as we say in New York, hey, you never know!Me: Good Morning Dearest Pope Francis for dearest you shall ever be….Pope Francis: Have you been reading Jane Austin, Annette?Me: I confess, sir, I have.PF: No need to confess, there is no sin in Jane Austin.Me: God bless you for that sir. Now may we begin the interview.PF: Certainly.Me: So, you are being hailed as the much desired reformer in our church, an answer at least for the moment to my prayers…PF: Haha only for the moment? Me: Yes, well, forgive me for that….speaks to my own limitations not to your character.PF: Oh dear…carry on.Me: So as a reformer I was hoping that you could answer a couple of questions for the general public because there are so many people watching right now. PF: Yes, thanks be to God.Me: Indeed.
Question one: You are quoted as rejecting the red velvet cloak with ermine trim and the red shoes saying: “The carnival is over.” Is that correct.PF: (Chuckles) Yes, I did.
Me: Then is it safe to ask when these poor men will be relieved of these horrible uniforms? Honestly, they look like court jesters. It is a little more than embarrassing.PF: I couldn’t agree more. I will look into it. But you know, it is delicate because it is such an honor to be part of the guard, to tell some of these men how ridiculous they look is a little more than insensitive…that and I am from Buenes Aires.Me: I know, but really, sir, you are the one talking about mercy, please have mercy on us.PF: I hear you, Annette.Me: Moving on. So, this picture of you on the subway, or train, what are you reaching for? You don’t look amused and the man next to you looks like he is sitting on your lap. 
PF: And you wonder why I don’t look amused?
Me: So tell me, do you use hand sanitizer or take Emergen-C? Cause you touch a whole lot of people from all over the world.
PF: Isn’t that wonderful? So many people, so many pilgrims like myself, searching for someone to touch them and affirm their humanity.
Me: I see your point but that is a whole lot of germs. So do you?
PF: No, to the hand sanitizer. Although the nannies who run the day to day at the curia will probably force me to do that soon to. And what is this Emergen-C?
Me: I swear by it. Just a vitamin packet but it really helps ward off illness. Try it.
PF: I think I will. I want to be as healthy and as energetic as I can be. God’s people need that right now.
Me: (sigh) I love you. I mean, indeed.
PF: (chuckle) I love you too, Annette, I love everyone. But you know that already, don’t you.
Me: Oddly yes….moving on. I loved how you ended by bringing attention to Mary, I am a huge fan of hers.
PF: So am I. And she will protect us.
Me: I know. But here is my question. Why are these men dressed in this garb. Serving at the alter should look more dignified, I can’t help but say it. And when I saw them helping you up and down the steps I thought, “they aren’t much younger…”
PF: No, they aren’t. But again, it is their job.
Me: Was it annoying?
PF: Yes.
Me: I thought so. But here is my thing. Some of these outfits are really relics of a past that is not all that relevant to people today. We lose nothing by updating. Please can you work on that as you reform.
PF: Annette, I understand your concern. But these are just clothes. I am here to do what Jesus did, I am here to reform hearts and perhaps they will remember what Matthew tells us about not worrying about what you wear, and perhaps you too will remember that it isn’t important in the end. In the end it is what we do that matters. It is who we are and who we say with courage that we follow. Not anything else. Nothing can get in the way of the reign of God except getting stuck on those picayune details.
Me: Yes sir. Thank you. One final question before I lay prostrate before you?
PF: You don’t need to do that.
Me: Oh I think I do.
PF: Please don’t….control yourself.
Me: (red-faced) okay.
One more question: Are you ready?
PF: As ready as I’ll ever be. Are you praying?
Me: Like I never have before.
Exchange hugs.
All images are taken from Google. This is humor…please do not take offense.
PF: And you wonder why I don’t look amused?
hmmmm – interesting and funny all at once. and yes it all comes down – as always – to what’s really important! Time and time again I have to remind my family including me that what the world says is important really isn’t.
I try to remind myself not to get bogged down, to trust God…but at times I am just going to get distracted by the colors. 🙂