As it would happen, I am not sleeping well. Too much going on and too little exercise plus too many cats in the neighborhood have been making for restless nights. When I do wake up that is when my anxiety hits in full force. My legs get restless and my mind goes in twenty directions. Lately, I have been leaving my bed to sleep on one of the couches in the other rooms. (Thankfully, there are choices!) I turn to prayer during these times and mostly I am soothed. But sometimes, worry and the “to do” list, (which is getting longer and longer) take over, which is what happened last night. So I went down to the living room and decided that I was not going stay up again. Not doing it! I need sleep!
Aside: I should have prefaced this with the fact that I am an excellent sleeper and a virtual slave to the hours I get. I cannot think clearly without sleep, I am grumpy and I am listless. If it goes on too long, I don’t end up liking anybody, least of all myself. So there; frame of reference on why sleep matters in my world. 🙂
My remedy as of late is to envision myself at my monastery in the chapel. One of my very favorite places on earth. I see myself laying prostrate in front of the humble cross there. I have done this several times though I don’t think anyone knows (until now… unless I was spied by a monk and they just let me be) otherwise this has always been between me and Jesus. I lay there…because I have nothing left and because an incredible comfort comes from the gesture. It is the only place left to go. I am always reluctant to get up; it feels right to be laying myself at Jesus’s feet. Which must be why, last night, I went right to sleep. Nothing else existed at that point except me and my Lord. There I lay for six solid hours there was no rush to leave and I woke up rested, refreshed, renewed and reassured that there is no where I can go that will bring me the solace and consolation that laying at the feet of, (or sometimes) sitting on the couch with, (or others) taking a walk with Jesus can bring.
For this and so much more, I give thanks to God.
“Come to me all you who labor and are burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am meek and humble of heart; and you will find rest for yourselves. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” Mt 11:28-30