Today is the last day in my 40’s. I’m not sure what that really means except that now I have to once again remember my age. I would like to suggest that I am traumatized by this, but I am not. I do however have to repeat it to myself because I find it confusing.
What does it mean?
I guess it means that I have successfully made it through five decades. My grays are getting more plentiful. There are a couple more lines on my face. I may know my way around a little better but I really subscribe to the line, “How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you were?” I would say 35. I am old enough to have lived but young enough to get on the kitchen floor and play jax. (Hoorah for yoga!)
My grandmother lived to 105 so for the women in my family we consider 50 a half way mark. My mother, at 81, is still waitressing for my sister who is a young 59 year old restaurant owner. I am the sixth of seven children and we have been immensely blessed with good health (and by the grace of God may it continue.) So this whole “time” thing kind of eludes me.
I was able to have lunch with my best girl today, the one who has accompanied me throughout most of these past 50 years. She was the one who during the teen years sat on my front porch as we hammered out the big things, or big things as we saw them at 17. (Example Her: Will my Michael Jackson album come tomorrow?? Me: “Probably.” Big questions!) She is the Laverne (with just a little more dignity!) to my Shirley. As we talked about what all of this means, we both determined, “Yeah, I don’t know.” When I have looked at her with searching eyes in the middle of a group of people and said, “I’m going to be 50.” She just quietly responded, “You’ll be okay.” So certain. Like she has seen it before. Me at 50.
The other day I was texting our 3rd musketeer telling her “Oh by the way, I am going to be 50.” To which she said, “By the way.” LOL. I am just trying to wrap my head around what it means when I am still with the same people I was with when I turned 16!! (This includes my husband!)
Here is what the overarching meaning is to me: I am abundantly blessed. I am overwhelmingly grateful. I am profoundly confused. I have accumulated all of these feelings through my 40’s and will carry them into my 50’s. I will tackle it as it comes.
I will let you know if I feel any different in the morning!