As I mentioned some time ago, I have taken on two new ministries. One is with my parish as the the Faith Formation Coordinator for grades 7-10 but with a desire to engage the post Confirmation crowd. The other is as facilitator for Loyola Institute for Ministry Extention Education program where the group earns a Master’s certification in Pastoral Studies with a focus on a specific ministry, (mine was Christian Spirituality). The Loyola program is known as Limex (or LIMEX or LIMex). It is the same program that I have my certification through. It is a wonderful learning process and it really has that spiritual journey essence to it. I love my new group and though I was pretty uncertain as it took it’s twists and turns developing, I am eternally grateful that God knows what God is doing! It is a great group.The other ministry, the one at our parish, I am a little more concerned about. I feel like a lot is riding on this one and I am not sure why. I feel a sense of urgency that is not mirrored in the parish. I am sure it is just me but that lack of energy or urgency was starting to make me regret my decision. I had always said that I wasn’t cut out for working with a church. I have been volunteering in some capacity for 25 years and have been ok with that, a “come and go” as I please. But now, the church will be my employer and having seen how that has worked (and not so well) for so many other people, I have been a little concerned that I would lose my joyful spirit if I had to work in the confines of church structure. Obviously, this is short sighted of me, because in reality the reason I agreed to take this position is because I love the kids. I also love and respect my pastor and I know he will do what he can to make this a fruitful experience. But still, something was nagging me, probably because things get done at the pace of molasses….in the winter! But I think this morning, as I did my Spiritual Formation exercises, God spoke to my heart in a way that I really needed. One of the readings, Romans 8:31-39, I already have highlighted but the line, “nothing can separate us from the love of God in Jesus Christ, our Lord” is where I think God wanted to sit me down. Much like I would my own children, to assure and remind who they are and to whom they belong. The rest is fear getting in the way.Essentially, I have allowed myself to be a bit of a spiritual lightweight. I have allowed myself to let other people’s experiences become my own and I have used their lens to see instead of the one that God gave me. It is uncharacteristic of me to listen too much to the naysayers but I think I am in a more vulnerable place because of life circumstances. It feels like literally everything is beyond my understanding and control. But here, God calls me back to my senses…God reminds me (through my own highlighting) that this is what I believe. This is what I know. Nothing can separate us, nothing ever has. I almost feel like I am on the threshold of something really good and genuinely useful and that something is trying to impede that by interfering with my Spirit. But that God is ever guiding me, giving me that soft place to lean…and in doing that, anchors me to what it good and what is true. I cannot expect everything to go smoothly all of the time, it is after all, a job. But maybe I can learn where to draw the line of how it will interact with my own relationship with God, that might help. For now, my plan is to let him walk me through it. Let him, as much as I have the presence of mind to do it, guide my interactions. The only way to bring the Light is to walk in the Light. So that is a goal….wish me luck.