This weekend my eldest daughter returned from college for her fall break. Like probably every other mother who has sent a child away to school, I am elated to have her back in the nest. She turned 18 a couple of days ago and we were not able to be together for her special day, unfortunately, I was sick. This made me incredibly sad but I knew her friends were giving her the love that a birthday needs, so I moved on. Well, kinda. Or as best as I could.
I longed to hug her and kiss her and baby my first baby. I am that obnoxious Mom and that is the truth. I own it.
In the meantime, our cat, Paige, had been rambling around the house moaning. Walking around here and there looking for something in a sad and languid way. The day before I went to retrieve M, Paige was wandering through the dark cellar, I heard her and said,
“Paige, I am going to bring her home tomorrow.”
Honestly, I think the cat and I are experiencing the same confusion, as if we are looking at each other saying,
“Where is she? Where is she??”
I have not been able to teach the cat to either Facetime or Skype but I am not sure that it would help if I did because even that is small consolation for me after a while. My one true comfort is that she is happy and thriving at her school. Which isn’t even far away, it is just far enough and it is imperative that I don’t intrude on her life there. So I stay here, with the cat.
It’s funny as I move through my motherhood how many changes I am learning to take on the chin. I was sad, I will be honest. I am navigating this part of the whole experience with a bit a wonder and humor and a whole lot of prayer. A whole lot of prayer. So much prayer that I imagine God saying, “I get it!!”
But I won’t get through it any other way.