Awe and Wonder

Last week I went on a field trip with the 5th grade to a Planetarium at a local Ivy League school.  At one point as we were watching the show of the sky over our heads, I realized that I was privy to an “awe and wonder” moment.  Not one child made a sound. Not one during the explanation of what we know about the beginning of  all life.  To the credit of the university they never addressed what we don’t know, or can’t prove but they actually left the kids hanging in the “but how” of it all.  There was no forcing of any agenda.  There was simply the opportunity to be amazed. In that moment, I was thinking, “I wonder if God actually came after this dark matter…”  “What if God was actually how all of this chaos is articulated?”  If God is love, then it makes perfect sense to me that God is created out of the nothing darkness to give form to us and to create what we have and are.  None of these are new thoughts, I know, but I was swimming in a moment of possibility and thinking about how we try to understand things. I was watching as these ten year olds were drinking in the experience and I actually came away from it marveling even more at the wonders of God’s creation.  That was last week.  Yesterday, we celebrated my oldest daughter’s 16th birthday.  Talk about awe and wonder.  I am in awe that she is who she is and that God reveals God’s self to me all of the time through her quiet wisdom, patience and kind and fair nature.  I am in awe of her personal beauty.  I am humbled at the gift that God blessed my husband and me with all those years ago.  Sixteen means that we are on the cusp of adulthood.  Sixteen means she will soon be able to make her own way in the world.  And I sit in wonder.  I wonder how and what she will do. I wonder how I will manage something I have been preparing for her whole life; for I always knew I would have to let her go.  I wonder how much she will want or need me.  Awe and wonder.  All surrounding creation.  Every mother’s thoughts.I give thanks to God for his love and care of her.